Vegetal…Vegetable…Couch potato…Previous identity…stolen by responsibility…executive positions…two clubs and a state council…a secretary, a vice president, and a president, all in the same year…just missing the title of treasurer…did she want me to become treasurer?
She was kept motioning at me when the floor was open for nominations. If she wanted me to run, why didn’t she nominate me? I would have accepted, but I didn’t feel right nominating myself. For one thing, that’s just something unqualified, conceited people do, and for another, I was already running for secretary.
Why did he nominate me? That annoying ten year old twerp nominated me for president, and he pitted me against her. I haven’t been on the executive board. I’ve barely been in the club for a year. I’m already the president of another club. Yet still, he nominated me, and I said “Sure.” Should I have declined? The answer is probably yes, but I was curious. I wanted to know if I could do it, but if I did, I would have been devastated because I would have been scared that I had hurt her. She’s a bit socially awkward, but she’s trying, and she’s really sweet. She annoyed me when I first met her simply because she was an introvert, but I want to be her friend now. When we stood in the back waiting for results to be announced, I told her I wished I could vote so that I could vote for her. I’m glad I didn’t win. I’m truly happy she won. I know now, so I don’t have to be curious, and I’m not the president. I’m happy for her.
Remember that guy who I said I would never talk about again? I was the only one running for secretary, a position he had nominated me for last month, and at the meeting, he asked someone to nominate him for the position to run against me. He’s nearly unbeatable. When he got reserve grand champion at a public speaking competition, I heard the girl across from me mutter the words “Someone dares to challenge the gods” under her breath. We each gave our speech, and the results were announced. I beat him. I still don’t know how, but I did. The girl at the public speaking competition had never met him, yet she thought of him so highly. In this club, people think about 117x higher of him, yet I beat him. I didn’t even really want the position, yet I won.
When I met him, his life was on track, and mine was a mess. I barely did anything except hide in my depressing, suicidal shell, and then I met him, and he introduced me to a whole new spectrum of possibilities for my life. I picked myself up, applied for some things, tried some new things, and I made it. I was on the state council, I was placing in state wide competitions, and for the first time in my life, I had true friends and was someone. I’m only using past tense here because I’m talking about things that started happening several months ago, but they’re still all true about my life. Now he’s sliding. He’s falling into a slump where he doesn’t know what to do with his life, and I want to help him, but he’s becoming more and more distant. When he met me, I was ready to come out of rock bottom. He’s falling into it, and when someone is falling down the slope, the only way to save them is to fall with them and give them someone else in the same situation t turn to for comfort. I can’t do that. I just got out, I can’t go back. Plus there was the whole month where I swore I was never talking to him again, and I can’t go straight from that to sacrificing my emotional well-being for him. Some time as a vegetal person may just be what he needs to rediscover himself.
When you just jump into activities, clubs, and leadership roles, you can forget to take the time to figure out what you like.Your life is constantly busy, and so therefore it must be busy itself that you like, but that isn’t true. One day you’ll run out of energy, and you’ll be back where you started; lost. If you don’t like something, and are doing it because you want to avoid being vegetal, stop doing it. You’re hurting yourself without even realizing it, and one day you’ll hurt someone else, someone who loves you, even though you’re too busy to realize it.