A letter to someone

Dear character from my improv class,

I don’t know how I feel about you, but I think I know how you feel about me. I’ve seen you staring at me out of the corner of my eye and noticed every time you’ve touched me. Typing this, I feel like I sound like I’m over-analyzing everything, but I know there’s something between us, at least in one direction. Perhaps I like you but on’t wish to admit it and so instead I subconsciously warp it to be the other way around. I know I had a crush on you earlier in the semester, bur it was just that; a crush. When I finally got to spend time with you, I realized that you see me as a child. I know I’m four years younger than you, but we’re in the same class, and that should say something. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone patronizes me, or anyone else for that matter, so the first time I heard it from you, it felt like a punch in the stomach. Even now that I don’t like you that way (or at least I’m pretty sure I don’t), it still hurts every time you talk down to me. Are you just trying to convince yourself that I’m an immature little kid because you think four years is too large of an age gap? Normally, I would probably agree that four years is a bit too much, but most people date people who they are friends with first (excluding online dating in this statement) and so the people they date are about the same age as those who they hang out with. I primarily hang out with people who are between 2-5 years older than me, and while even I consider  five years to be a bit too much of an age gap, four is not.

I probably sound like I’m trying to convince you to like me. I’m not. I just want you to stop patronizing me. If you do like me, then just tell me. I absolutely hate mind games (there’s another one of my biggest pet peeves) and so I would love to know what the heck is going on. If you need further proof that I’m not trying to get you to ask me out or something weird like that, there’s also the fact that I keep everyone anonymous, including myself, in my blog posts, so you have no way of knowing who you are or who I am. I’m writing to you, but not to you specifically, because for all I know there’s someone else going through a similar situation who will see this thinking they’re you and that one of their friends is me and it could fix everything for them. Anyways, if you could stop patronizing me and stop playing any sort of weird mind game, that would be fantastic.

-A character in some of life’s stories


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